Happy Humming and Turkey!

So we are humming around here a lot these days.  This was picked up while at the hospital this fall and continues with us.......but she does it when she's happy, so I guess the Humming Turkey Day is okay!  Thanksgiving was the best ever in terms of food and fellowship!  The happy humming girl went to spend the night with the  Nans and Pops (AKA Nana and Poppy AKA Bumpa!) and life is good!

Today, Den's Aunt and Uncle came in all the way from MN to spend some time with us.  Wes wasn't doing too well so we ordered in for dinner.  We had much recollecting on the D family's past years as well as a few of my memories of spending T day with my M family.  I sincerely miss running into my Grampa's house, grabbing coffee with a lot of creamer and sugar and a cookie out of the box, quickly finding a seat and seeing how long you could stay there before you had to pee......see seating was a premium at Grampa M's and if you peed then you might stand or take a lesser wanted seat for a while.  I remember that I preferred sitting with the adults at the large Oak round table as opposed to going outside with my cousins. 

Now in the summer, there were grapes to check for ripeness on the vine or Garter snakes to scare younger ones with....but fall and winter?  Yup, sitting till ya had to pee was the way to go.  The adults played cards and told stories about things THEY had done as kids.  I loved all the stories!  They were like little tidbits of heaven.  Hearing how "Butch and Rusty" (My Dad and Uncle Russ) would have their jeans slung so low that they would get in trouble, and their cigarettes rolled up in their sleeves while on the prowl in downtown Hastings!  Or the antics of Marion and Shirley.  One never knew what stories might spill and I for one did NOT intend to miss a single one!  You never knew when a good one would emerge!

I remember all the smells; food cooking, cigarette smoke so thick I'd have to go out in the snow bank for a while because my eyes were burning, laughter, sadness, waiting for the bathroom, waiting for a chair (luckily everyone had to pee at some point!).....Christmas traditions like the "white elephant" auction!  There was a Buddha lamp that made the rounds for years!  Such joy was always in the air.  I was always happy there!

I wish that Mac had that big of a family around her.  We went there every Sunday afternoon like clockwork.  Cousins, more cousins, Aunts, Uncles, assorted friends, always at least thirty people.  I am really missing Gramma and Grampa M.  I think this year more than ever.  I see Mac growing up still with the White Elephant fun but without tons of family around.  I wonder if it will affect her.  I wonder if the family traditions will fade with time.  Will she keep them alive in her family?  Will Chelsie and Brit?  I think so.....I hope so.....I wish I could sit around that big Oak Round Table one more time and listen to all the laughter!

Finding out just how much damage was done....

Well, after a couple of weeks "homeschooling" with an internet school, I've come to the very sad conclusion that my daughter's previous school has not given her the education she deserved!  I really wonder where she would be if we hadn't pulled her out when we did!  Basic things seem to be missing from her knowledge base.  Things that I guess we hadn't noticed!  We knew there were issues with math, but she doesn't know where to position letters on the lines, which makes her capitalization difficult to decipher, and her knowledge of punctuation is so-so.  I guess because she's been typing on the computer since three might be responsible for a lot of it, but WOW!  Shocker!

I keep explaining to her that I'm not MAD at her for not knowing this stuff, that I'm frustrated that she wasn't taught correctly, but to her it seems like I think she has flaws.  It saddens me.  The good news is that she tested out extremely well on all subjects thus far.  I think it's that it's safe to say that due to her intelligence she's going to be fine!  I'm just glad that we're teaching her.  I'm feeling less overwhelmed about this teacher role I find myself in and happy for my OWN intelligence.  I see now that I can do no worse than the AZ Educational system.

Didn't we know how to tell time on a clock face by fourth grade?  Didn't we know how to write out letters and numbers?  Hmmmmmmm.......I think in some ways technology isn't such a good thing!  Happy Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for a daughter who has gifted intelligence and a DESIRE to learn.  Without it I wonder where she'd be!

Day by Day...........

So we're having good days and not so good days in this new adventure.  Some days Mac is just not able to focus on school work.  Other days, she just rocks it out!  I am so happy on those days.  I'm thinking of adding Saturday for a couple of hours of easy stuff....and shortening the 5 hours during the week to about 4.5.  That would mean 2.5 on Saturday.....but I think that would be okay.

I still think she's learning more at home than she did at school!  Den's taking over teaching the social studies portion (after all he's got a teaching certificate in that subject!)  I'm doing math right along with her, problem by problem........and she's working it.  She's going to ask her teacher if she can do most of her "writing" on the computer as opposed to writing it out.  She does much better that way.

It's all good!  Oh, did I mention I am getting a two hour massage tonight?  Yeah, that's how Mama survives!  Have any of you ever read about massage for kids with ADHD and/or BiPolar?  I've heard that it really helps with calming kids down if they receive regular massages.  I'm thinking about getting her started.  What do you think?  Let me know.

So, we've found a new school!

So after seeing my happy, go lucky daughter turn into a couch potato (I actually called her a pig in a blanket because she was all rolled up in a beige blanket at my Mom's Sunday morning...doing nothing after an overnight stay.)  Mom said she really didn't want to go anywhere (they were going to see a movie) or do anything.  She'd been like that for DAYS.  Just moping around.....sadness in her eyes.  I would send her off at school and watch her:  head down, walking slowly............looking so lost and sad. 

So Sunday when I saw her on the couch I said: THIS IS IT!  I stayed up all hours of the night researching new schools, weighing the Pro's and Con's....trying to decide if I was just going to pull her out and home school her...but then I'd have to do curriculum, buy books or other materials, be the "bad guy" with lessons.  UGH!   I didn't really want to go that route!

And then, out of nowhere.......this little Google search turned up AZ Distance Learning Academy. It's LIKE home schooling, but it's considered a charter school, so she's still enrolled.  They sit down with you and your child and figure out a curriculum designed for YOUR CHILD after TESTING them!  There are several different ways to deliver the material, again customized to hour your child learns best !!!!!  The teacher issues home work and tests, which you proxy at home.  The teacher can do Skype sessions for one-on-one tutoring and you send in attendance on Sunday night.  25 hours a week of study are required. But you do it all at home.....or anywhere with high speed internet access!  She can go from our house, to Nana's to Amy and Chelsie's!

Mac can go as fast as she wants to through the material!  She will be tested on-site four times a school year and she has to do AIMS testing there as well (state tests).  The best part?  They'll pay us $150 a semester reimbursement for private music or art lessons!  Plus all books and materials are free if returned.  WOW!

She found an Arts school she wants to go to in 7th grade....and we're going to talk to them about maybe going the year she'd be a 6th grader instead.  Her therapists both think skipping one grade is fine for her...so she may only do the Distance Learning for a few years, which is great. It's a solution for the in-between years left!

The good news is I found a school that we don't have to get her up for at the crack of dawn (which has been the main reason she's lost so much time historically!) as she can do this schooling from noon to 5 or 9-2 or 3 to 9: any day!  So we can do school on the weekend if we so choose!

When I told her that this would be her last week at her school, she started backpedaling, with the "well, I don't want to leave.  I'll be fine......." but after a wonderful session with Dr. Beth, who assured her that those feelings of anxiety were NORMAL for leaving a situation, she's doing a bit better now.  Still very anxious, she hasn't sleep well at all and has stayed home more this week than going.  But she's going to go tomorrow because she talked with Dr. Beth about closure....and how important that is.  So we are going to take treats to school and tell everyone that we've found a school which is better suited to Mac's needs and that she will miss (some) them. (Really, only one,  but we'll be nice!)

The new school called and I just need two more documents submitted and then next week we'll start the testing.  I'm going to fax those docs now so our adventure can begin............YEA to new beginnings!

I think I'm getting WHY McKenna has so MANY issues at school!

Okay, so we've been in a holding pattern on the school issue for a while. We've put off pulling her out of her school and/or looking for a new school and/or homeschooling her. We had a great sleepover with a classmate of the  ONE parent I spoke with regarding our issues with the school.  Her daughter befriend McKenna after an absence of a few years of them being not so friendly.

So we go to her Parent Teacher conference last week and we chat with her teacher...and map out where we are since the Hospital visit....and I ask if it's true that he won't accept her Spelling/English homework unless she has her Math homework done too. He says that is the class rule and it's not fair for other students who do all the work to see her turn in only her Spelling homework. So I told him that he will NEVER see homework from her then because even if she has it completed (and sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't) that she just won't hand it in...because it's messy. Well, he says that's the rule.

Then we discuss her melancholy and her ongoing therapy...and he brings up the fact that she basically just sat down and cried for about an hour the previous week. He asked if he could help her and she just told him to leave her alone. Um, this was the first time I'd hear about this. No call home, no text, no email, nothing. I'm thinking for a child who was just hospitalized for Anxiety/Depression that perhaps this needs to be communicated in some manner!!!

That made me a LOT pissed. I told him the next time he needed to call me so I could come get her. His response was: "well, sometimes children just need to cry." ???????????????????

We also pointed out that we'd like her moved to a separate area with a desk against the wall so that she won't get distracted by other students talking and leading her to talk/not pay attention. This was something Mac and her Psychologist came up with for helping her in school. (Accommodations list which every child who falls under ADA regulations should have at school )....but since this school has never had an IEP with us, even though we've asked again and again.....we don't have an accommodations list. Oh, and she's still not by herself but rather in a row of other students!

Overall, at the time I felt better that we had some time with him and that Den and I explained how she learns and has been self learning.....we explained to him that we didn't want her left in the room for math but rather put with someone who could retrain her from the beginning...doing basic addition and subtraction since she wasn't retaining that information. He said that he didn't know if there was anyone who could give her remedial help but that she could leave when they do math. But if nobody is going to help her then where will she be with math???

Again, I was happy that we got a chance to talk with him......when I was explaining to my sister, Amy, what he'd said and what we talked about she looks at me and says: " So he said there's going to be no help in math, no accommodation for taking some but not all homework, she passes tests on subjects that she wasn't even there for so he's not teaching her the stuff she excels in and he lets her cry without calling you after she's been hospitalized? Why do you think you made any progress?"

She's right! They've dragged their feet about an IEP for a YEAR AND A HALF. They don't treat her Special needs in Math nor do they treat her giftedness in English/Spelling/Social Studies and all things NOT math! And he doesn't inform me of major breakdowns while at school!!!! And has little to no control over his class while at recess, referring to the bullying going on all the time.

It's time for a new school! We will be stepping up the effort for Mac once again! Ridiculous!

Keep on Keeping on..........

In the words of a famous female journalist:  "And so it goes..."  I am not sure if we are 100% happy with the new med in the mix for K.  There seems to be some problems thinking for her.  Why does the chemical world need to be so hard to maneuver?  She's doing better though.........but this week on the way home from school she told me that she's done at this school.  Those of you who know my kid, know that when she finally verbalizes a statement of this magnitude know that this means:  Decision done, game over...this is the final word!

We had already decided to move her in seventh grade to the local Arts Jr/Sr. High........but now I think we might be finding a new "home" sooner than that.  Our therapist recommended an Educational Consultant whom she uses occasionally for help with some patients...I guess this woman knows the area schools in and out and can help you figure out the best "fit" for your "special needs" child.  UGH!  This road is certainly fun!

Short of home schooling (which has it's own set of issues) I cannot think MYSELF of a school that I think will offer her everything she needs to thrive.  I guess we need to just make the right, best, decision for HER.  I just watched Michael Eisner talking about partnerships.  He said that if the partners don't give 50-50 they don't work.  Even 45-55 does not necessarily work.  I feel like her school has not offered the 50%. I feel that Den and I have been left out in the wind.  I'm assuming this is how K feels as well.  How sad!

My daughter is SO beyond her years!  She is amazingly talented in English, Social Studies, Science,etc.  However, relationships with peers and Math?  Special help is required!  Can someone come up with a plan to meet her educational and emotional needs?  Or are we as parents, grandparents and Aunt out here alone...lonely and wondering why the educational system has let my child down?

And so it goes.......

So here we are and McKenna is home.  She's not really telling me a lot about what's going on in her mind.  I think she's talking to Amy though and I have to be okay with that!  I guess the "Mom knows nothing" years have begun early.  I only hope that means she'll emerge from that phase early too!

I won a 90 minute massage and 90 minute facial from my salon (shameless plug here:  Dolce Salon & Spa!)  So I have that to look forward to on Monday.  Considering I got a massage right before Kenna's hospital journey, I'm glad I won one as that one seems to have been a very, very long time ago.  Then they had a deal on a pedicure I just couldn't pass up so I booked that for Saturday morning.  I think that will make me feel much better!

The entire family has been coming over most every day to help us go through the house and super clean, sort and organize it.  I can't believe we've only lived here for 6 years....we have accumulated over 20 years worth of "stuff!"  It does feel much better purging everything.  I even find myself going back over things I thought I'd keep three months ago and NOW I'm tossing them in the GO pile!  There will be a few fantastic Non Profs who will benefit from our largess!

I am so glad to have Kenna home. I am blessed to have such an intelligent, artistic, gifted child.  She has empathy for others and is just amazing!  Not a day goes by that I don't learn something from her.   One of the things that I have started to change is taking time doing some things for myself.  That's why I'm going to the salon for "me" treatments!  Den and I are taking time for US.  We are making sure to show our love for each other every day.  It's amazing how you can get so caught up in the daily crap that you start treating each other in less than nice ways!

Well, I guess I am shedding my proverbial skin and beginning anew!  New organized house, new treatment for my hubby and a daughter who continues to amaze me daily!  I guess learning that YOU are worthy of a little pampering can lead to unexpected results!