Friday, November 30, 2012


It is the ache that every mother of every child born to not be "normal."  It is the gut wrenching, terrifying point when you realize that your kid is not going to be like other kids.  Not that any two kids are alike and not like I do not love my child with every ounce of my soul.........

But I sometimes long to have her be accepted and let her excel at whatever she tries instead of being a genius in some things while struggling so much in others.  To almost always be confused by social norms, to be teased for being different, to be hurt on a continual basis due to her unique situation.

I want to scoop her up and keep her warm and safe away from the "idiot children (and dare I say ADULTS) of the world that she MUST interact with on a daily basis. I know I can't keep her from hurting or from learning what she needs to in order to survive but when your child tells you that she'd rather sit alone in her room in the dark with her computer than trusting a friend whom she knows will end up hurting her in some way.........agh.  I just can't take it anymore!

This new school offers such great kids who are interested in the Arts and Academics!  The double whammo!  I didn't expect an interloper here.  I don't think she did either.  Someone who makes the crazy sign behind my daughter's back and who tells everyone in a fake facebook post lies and maybe some secrets thought shared between two friends.

So much for trust.  So much for trying.  If this other girls only KNEW how hard it was for my girl to reach out and wiggle her toe in the pond of friendship.  If she cared that for X to trust and feel safe was such a major thing!  I really want to go down to her level and fight fire with fire!!!!!!

But I have to deal with X.  I have to get her into her medical team for evaluation, rock and console her.  Give her the comfort that I can......and hope that after this disappointment, this foray into getting hurt again, she will give friendship another try.  I hope and pray that she finds a true friend.  One who will fight with and for her and never let her down.  And I hope that friend comes soon!


  1. (((Hugs to both you and McKenna)))

    Unfortunately, this is the time when kids try so hard to fit in... Selling out another (which is what this other girl did) is inappropriate and mean... Karma will get that child eventually, McKay... Please do not let her, or the fear of others like her, keep you from becoming all you can be...

    (Too often, the girl tribe lacks honor at this age... I wonder if you can find a way to create a poem or a writing that can be a voice.)

  2. Sadly, she is not very creative right now either. She's given up on photography and writing which is another concern :o(