And then life kicks you in the teeth once again............

So I was in such a hurry to focus on my new venture!  Got a bunch of stuff sorted and ready to work on to make my new creative focus help make me better and maybe, just maybe make a little dough in the process and BOOM.  New Year's Eve Den and I had bought a nice bottle of Vino and decided we would do a little celebrating.  However his dad had fallen twice during the past few days and he said that his chest hurt.  He didn't think he'd go to the hospital but he wasn't feeling 100%.  So...........Dennis decided not to drink in case an ER visit became necessary.  The following morning he went downstairs and called back up that they were indeed taking dad to the ER.

The ER trip showed not the cracked rib that we imagined from the fall but rather full blown pneumonia as well as a very bad blood infection.  They admitted him and started him on a few different, very strong antibiotics. A few days later, found us talking with the Kidney doctor.  He was very kind and comforting.  He pretty much laid out the facts for us:  The antibiotics were not really working.  Both the pneumonia and blood infection were worse and due to the fact that dad was having dialysis, they probably would not work.  He had also had a heart attack due to the stress on the body.  The infection had yet to hit the heart but they didn't think they could stop it from doing so.

He said that even with continuing the treatment there was very little luck at being successful.  He told dad that IF it were him, he would take himself off of everything and quit treatment because they were only prolonging his life by a little bit.  After hearing from Dad that this is what he desired as well as hearing it from Barb as well it was decided to quit all treatments including treatment of his diabetes.  The hospital social worker called Hospice and within four hours (and the help of a wonderful friend who knows this hospice well ;) we had Wes moved into a very nice Hospice home.

He's been at Hospice now a little over a week.  The best guess is that he'd last about two without dialysis.  So we spent the first few days there round the clock.  Now, he sleeps constantly and I know he can hear us as he kind of smiles when Mac comes in but otherwise he has been sedated.  He cries out "Mama" and sometimes cries for Barb but there is no more of the Wes I knew.

I kept this in draft......on January 18th........
I sat with my husband and my mother in law, listening to my once very proud father in law as he tried to communicate and could only moan loudly.  A few times when I spoke directly to him, he tried opening his eyes and looking for me but he was so out of it that while I knew he could hear me, he just couldn't respond in any coherent way. I knew that he wanted to pass over but he was just scared.  I told him that evening that if he was unsure if his faith was true, then he'd have to have faith on me because I told him that I knew that Patti and Kari were in the room with us and just waiting for him to make his journey over.  I told him that I'd be waiting for him to come see us again once he got over to the other side and figured out how to get back to us......I told him that he could be the most fun spirit that resides in our house. (We've got a lot of spirit activity in our home)........Wes was never a believer until he moved in with us and from his first night feeling someone sit down on his bed to the time he saw several people in his bedroom with him when he woke during the night, he became a believer!

I said in his ear that I knew he was tired of fighting and it was okay to go.  I told him that I'd take care of Barb and he needed to let go and drift off with his beautiful girls.  Then I told him I loved him and left to go get some air with Dennis.  The nurse came to get us a few moments later.  He had passed away quietly with Barb at his side.

The reason that I'm writing this today is that last night I believe that Wes made it back here for his first visit.  Or, we noticed him for the first time.  Den and I were watching a t.v. show and the air  got about twenty degrees colder which we both noted.  Then the dog started barking and looking next to Den on the sofa.  She was kind of whining and her tail was going a mile a minute.  Den asked her what was wrong and she did her "Way Wove Woooooo" talk.  "I love you."  She only does that for certain people.  Den asked her is it Kari?  Is Kari here?  And she just looked at him.  He asked, " Is it Grandpa?"  And her tail took off again.  Den asked her, "Is Grandpa here with us Gracie?"  And again she said "Way Wove Wooooooo..." and her tail was beating a note on the ottoman.  She was looking on the sofa next to Dennis the entire time.

Dennis said his hand felt really odd like it was weighted down.........and the cold air was there for about two more minutes and then it was gone.  We told Wes that we loved him and felt better than we have in a while.  I think he's figuring out his new world and how to come back and forth to say HI!  I think he's pleased that Barb is doing so well.........and so are we.  What a ride!  I'm back folks!  Hope you're ready!