I remember
just knowing that I was going to have a girl when we found out we were
pregnant. The “knowing” was just there
in my mind. I remember the amazing
feeling that came over me the moment that it was confirmed that I was
pregnant. I was thirty five when
I found out. I grew up thinking that I
never wanted to GIVE birth. No way I was
going through all that big belly and the pain of child birth. I was going to adopt! That thought was still with me at the age of
thirty something with one failed marriage behind me and no options in sight.
I made a
decision to give myself one last year to find a viable mate with whom to adopt
with…….or maybe try to have a baby. The
older I got the more that the idea of giving birth seemed to get better. Still wanting to adopt as well but perhaps
seeing if I could have a child as well.
So I gave myself ONE year to find a partner. Along came Dennis through an internet
search. We met and things took off from
there. He was the kind of man you could
imagine being a dad. I was hooked. We were married less than two years after
starting to correspond.
I went off
my birth control before we were married.
I knew that with depo it took about a year and a half to get pregnant
after stopping. That was 1998. By the year 2000 I was getting worried that
adopting might be our only option. No
pregnancy yet and news that older women taking depo not being able to conceive being
heard.
Then one day
in late October of 2000 I was cooking hamburger and was so upset to find out
that it smelled bad. So I threw it out
and got another package out. I started
cooking it again. Dennis got home from
work then and I asked him to smell it.
It smelled disgusting to me. He
said not only was that burger fine but so was the stuff in the trash! I had an odd thought. I said that my sister always thought meat was
bad when she was pregnant. So Den bought
a test the next day on his way home from Toronto and we sat on the edge of the
tub waiting for three minutes. I jumped
up at the end and ran to look at the tab:
TWO pink lines!!!! My hunch had
been right!
I called my
sister first as we’d been wondering together and then I called Arizona. Mom answered the phone. I told her that sorry to say we would need to
make some arrangements for the store the following summer because I was going
to be doing something that would use up a lot more of my time but it was
something that Dennis and I considered important enough to do. She said, “Well, we will make due no matter
what. We have time to plan.” I then went on to tell her we would also need
to have enough people lined up to cover the entire store during probably the 4th
of July. Being the busiest holiday, this
would not be very easy.
She said “Okay…”
at which point I said, “because I will
probably be at the hospital having your next grandchild!” And I think Mom lost it. Then I got to turn around and have the same
conversation with my Dad who hadn’t heard it.
They were both crying at this point.
I had an
amazingly easy pregnancy. I felt better
than I had in a long time…which shocked me. I knew before the ultrasound that I
was having a girl and we began the name game! I actually lost over seventy
pounds during the whole time and the only glitch I had was finding out I was
gestationally diabetic so I ended up giving myself shots for the last two
months and being heavily monitored. I
played a lot of diverse music to my tummy and sang and read outloud a lot to
the munchkin growing inside me. I
embraced my belly and was extremely happy.
Due to the
diabetes, I was induced early, as soon as she was big enough to survive…still
at 39 weeks, considered full term. It
was June 27th so we’d be in the store by the Holiday! I was induced at 9:30 a.m. and she was born
at 6:30 p.m. All 6 pounds 15 ounces and
21.5 inches of her. I had an epidural
and an amazing painkiller so I was still out of it when she actually
arrived. I remember looking over at her
and wondering who the blonde baby belonged to as I had a private birthing room!
After she
was checked and wrapped up I assumed that Dennis would bring her to me and I
was really ready to meet her. Instead he
whooshed right on by me and out in the hall where all the grandparents were
standing, waiting to be introduced. A
few moments later, she was in my arms and I was meeting the child who shared my
body for so many months. The bond was maternal and eternal! What is love?
This is love! The magical moment
you hold your child in your arms for the first time. I have never known a fiercer feeling of love
than I did at that moment. It was truly
the moment my life changed more than it ever had previously. Love is the feeling you get when magic
appears in your life! For me that is
McKenna Ann Elizabeth!
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